"It's crowded, & my feet are sticking to the floor." "Welcome to New Orleans."
2001-05-10 - 12:51 a.m.

Things I learned in New Orleans:

^v^ You don't want to bring a car, if you can help it. If you're going to be staying for more than 2 days, pick a parking lot & "lose" the ticket. Lost ticket fee will pro'lly be less than what you actually owe (works best with an inobtrusive car. Not sure if I could pull this off when I drive a lavendar El Camino).

^v^ Being dumped in the middle of "crap central" when you're a crapaholic with no money is pretty painful.

^v^ Buy your Red Bull outside of the French Quarter. A can of RB will set you back about $5 on Bourbon Street. ::wince::

^v^ Bourbon Street can be pretty entertaining, even with very little money. Settle yourself on a bit of sidewalk with your cheap alcohol, & watch the freak parade (I like going places where I don't stand out).

^v^ People are ugly & dumb.

^v^ Dancefloors seem to be easier to clear in NOLA than they are here. Perhaps they're unused to enthusiastic dancers.

^v^ You can very nearly navigate the French Quarter by smell alone. "Follow the rancid beer smell 'till you find the vomit, turn left, walk 'till you get to rotting garbage, then go right 'till you smell urine."

^v^ When navigating the French Quarter, it is perfectly acceptable to wander in front of moving vehicles, so long as the vehicle in question is not a taxi. Cab drivers don't seem to be much cowed by the idea of pedestrian blood.

^v^ Running into people you know in the French Quarter apparently isn't as unlikely as one might think.

^v^ The carousel The Girl visited in _Treasure: In Search of the Golden Horse_ wasn't actually in the park beyond the light-up "Armstrong" arch like they made it seem in the movie.

^v^ Marie LeVeau's House of Voodoo isn't as cool as one was led to believe, though it did have a certain legendary charm to it. Perhaps one is just jaded by having so many santeria botanicas within easy driving distance of home.

^v^ Simply packing the sunscreen isn't enough. One must also remember to apply it before setting off on the afternoon tour of St. Louis #1 cemetary.

^v^ This is a bad day to be wearing pants.

^v^ The traditional 3 X's on Marie LeVeau's tomb aren't really vandalism if they're done in grape-scented purple roll-on body glitter. Or is it that it's not vandalism if the tour guide doesn't see you do it? I don't remember.

^v^ Voodoo dolls are even cooler with magnets.

^v^ Going down by the river where the air is green is nowhere near as fascinating as Concrete Blonde makes it sound.

^v^ Every drink in the French Quarter is super strong. Hence, after only 3 Planter's Punches, you'll be much more inclined than usual to dip your (very short) hair in the toilet, then lay on the cool, cool bathroom tile for several hours, engaging in nonsensical conversations with your friends while they take pictures of you with your own camera. At least, one might logically think that that sort of thing might happen. Not that one ever actually did it. Or even had to be restrained from flinging large spoonfuls of lard at passing traffic. Nope nope nope.

^v^ Speaking of lard... a 4 lb bucket of lard makes a damn fine purse. Or it will, anyway, once the remainder of the lard is scraped out of it.

^v^ You are too serious. You should learn to frolic.

The one thing I didn't learn is how your average Mardi Gras goer would react to the Lard Fairy. Perhaps someday this, too, shall be fully explored.

Give a Clix, if you please.

midi lives in gloomcounty
midi came from Ravenswood Manor

I see the moon,

the moon sees me...

Obsessions du Jour
Music: Krishna Das
Printed Material: The Apocrypha
On Screen: Six Feet Under
Etc: Mary Magdalene
Virgin Mary
Kali Sara
Christo-Paganism

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