Head Splodeys

Does the phrase "grow a skin" mean anything to anybody?
Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2001 - 12:09 a.m.

D'ya think I'll ever learn to keep my hands to myself?

Nah. People are way too much fun when you poke them. So many of them react so...much. Certainly much more than one would expect from the relative strength of the poke.

::shrugs::

So, this time I seem to have vexed Miss Macabre by leaving her a note. The note was a quote from her diary followed by my reaction to it:

"you can't just be smart and funny and cute. You have to be sexual, first and foremost, then expose, slowly but surely, that intelligent side."

Wow. To think I've been doing it wrong all these years. Or maybe I've just been dating the wrong guys? Smart & funny & cute have always worked for me... unless, of course, we're talking about stripping. Smart & funny & cute does not make for a successful stripper, which is one of the many reasons I'm not one anymore. ;}

This offhand remark was immediately deleted from her notes, but made it into one of her entries. Since I love playing Devil's Advocate even more than I enjoy hit-&-run diary readings, I simply must devote an entry in return. Her comments are in italics, mine follow.

I had someone leave me a note yesterday, quoting a remark I'd made and telling me that I mistaken for having my opinion.

Not at all. What I said was that my experiences have been counter to yours. How does that equate to telling you that you're mistaken for having an opinion?

Charlie said it's not surprising. After 1,000 hits in 3 days, it's not exactly a shock that someone would disagree with me.

Alas, that is the risk we take when we speak.

I just never expected to come across opposition to my opinions

Again, I must point out that I wasn't opposing anything. Saying "Hey, I've got an opinion, too! Isn't it interesting that it differs so markedly from yours?" is not analogous to saying "Your opinion is wrong."

I must admit to a degree of astonishment at your surprise over someone having a different view on an issue. Has everyone in your life heretofore really agreed with everything you've said? Doesn't that get rather boring?

I think what I was trying to get at is: when you're at those sorts of places and you hook up with a guy, they're not - most of the time - looking for a woman with brains. It's usually all about the hook-up, not any sort of long-term substantial relationship. For someone like me - someone who was a complete dweeb in high school, someone who didn't discover hair care until she was 17 and whose wardrobe throughout the worst and most influential 4 years of one's life consisted of Cure t-shirts, cut-off army fatigues and combat boots - well, the idea that a member of the opposite sex would give her the time of day was laughable.

A few years down the road, however, I was less the outcast and more the sought-after which is flattering and a big change, even though it says nothing about me as these people don't really know anything about me, see? Does that make any more sense?

Eh, no more so than it did before. All I'm doing is marvelling at the way your head works (or worked) compared to mine. F'rinstance, I've been clubbing regularly for pretty close to a decade, yet I've never done so with the intent of "hooking up". Hook-ups, manipulation, power struggles, mind games, dating gambits, machinations, strategems, using my sexuality against anyone, being anything but purely myself is just completely alien to my being.

So, you say you were a dweeb who blossomed into a powerful, sexual being on the prowl. What if I told you that I, too, was a dweeb in highschool, & wasn't popular in any sense of the word; that I didn't master hair or skin care 'till I was 20; that my highschool wardrobe consisted of Anthrax t-shirts, stretch jeans & beat-up old tennis shoes; that members of the opposite sex weren't exactly lining up around the block for me, either?

That's seems to be where our situational similarities end, though. For some reason I was always convinced that the reason I wasn't dating wasn't because I was undesirable, but because the guys at my highschool were too stupid to see my desirable qualities. I didn't care that random boys weren't throwing themselves in my lap because I had unshakable faith that someday Mr. NearlyPerfect would fall into it. While you were going to clubs & learning to harness the power of your pooter, I was dancing like a complete spastic & ignoring pretty much everyone (unless they got in my line... then I was pretending to ignore them while aiming kicks & punches at their head).

But you know what? I'll bet just as many guys offered to buy drinks for my angry, unkempt, unabashed, completely un-sexual self. ;}

So, see, I'm not saying that it's *wrong* to think that guys will respond most readily to having a woman's sexuality thrust into their faces, I'm just saying that that's not the only (or, arguably, even the best) path to female empowerment &/or nookie.

I just don't get the stripper reference.

Stipping is the ultimate expression of the Power of the Pooter. Being able to dance or being cute/pretty/drop-dead gorgeous are the tiniest part of what makes a really good stripper. Much more crucial is the ability to feign interest in the dullest of men, make the most insignificant milquetoast feel virile & important, convince that guy that it's him & not his wallet that you really adore, & positively ooze sexuality even when you're completely repulsed by the quivering lump of testosterone & cheap beer who's currently ogling you. Being (or at least convincingly acting) stupid and/or really drunk are big plusses, too.

In other words, I've got what most people think it takes to make an ideal stripper, but I lack all of the qualities that actually make a successful one.

Give a Clix, if you please.

midi lives in gloomcounty
midi came from Ravenswood Manor